WHY NOT?

(Two of the most dangerous words)

Those two little words have caused more trouble in my life than bad weather and bad traffic combined—and I’ve been caught up in both, sometimes on the same day.
If “bless your heart” is Southern for you’re an idiot, then “why not” is universal for hold my beer.

The Thursday Setup

Thursday, late afternoon. You’ve got work tomorrow. The phone rings:
“Hey, we’re going out for dinner and a few margaritas—come with us!”

You know better. You’ve seen this movie before and it never has a happy ending. But two words slide out before you can stop them: “Why not?”

Cut to Friday morning, when “why not” smacks you in the face like a wet beach towel. You’re calling in sick—not because of the margaritas (let’s lie to ourselves a little here), but because you have the time coming, so why not?

Hangover math is simple: 3 margaritas = 2 sick days.

The DIY Disaster

Your new curtains arrive from Amazon. You’re supposed to wait for your friend Linda to bring her ladder—her tall, safe, stable ladder.

But then you spot a chair you’re pretty sure will work.
“Why not? I’ll be done before she even gets here.”

Fast-forward ten minutes and you’re sprawled on the floor, head throbbing, curtain rod bent like a paperclip, and the chair lying on its side with a busted leg, looking like part of a crime scene.

The Luxury Purchase

You’re shopping for something sensible, with a payment that won’t require selling your blood. But you “just happen” to pass a high-end dealership—Mercedes, BMW, the kind of place that smells like money and monthly regret.

You pull in “just to look.” Why not?

Next thing you know, sitting in your driveway is a beautiful, showroom-shiny, totally unaffordable car. It’s all style and swagger ’til the first payment comes due.

If you have to hide the bill from yourself, it’s not a car—it’s a panic attack on really nice wheels.

The Animal Rescue

A friend from a pet rescue calls. She’s got a Schnauzer puppy that needs a foster home. Seven months old, black, and—in her words—“The Giant Version.”

I once had a miniature Schnauzer—my favorite dog ever—so of course I say, “Why not?”

Turns out the “giant version” is 100 pounds of muscle and destruction. Sweet dog, but in 48 hours, he’d remodeled my house (or at least taken care of the demo), converted the lawn into a dirt BMX track, and had half the cul-de-sac rereading their HOA rules, just in case he made it over the fence.

If this dog were human, he’d be a college linebacker with the energy of a kindergartner.

I wasn’t fostering him—I was the clean-up crew at his demolition company.

The Truth-Teller

You’ve been meaning to have the talk with your buddy Bob—the one where you finally confess all the little habits of his that make you want to fake your own death. The way he chews ice. His eternal lateness. That thing he does where he retells your own stories like he lived them.

You debate it for days. Then, after a few beers, you think, why not, and out it comes.

Only Bob, bless him, had the same idea. Suddenly you’re standing there swapping grievances like baseball cards: you hate his chewing, he hates your humming; you call him a flake, he calls you a know-it-all. Five minutes in, you realize you’re both guilty of half the same crimes anyway.

Nothing says friendship quite like a two-man intervention where both of you need counseling and neither one of you is qualified to give it.

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Doesn’t matter if it’s furniture, clothing, cars, pets, or people—those two little words are a starter pistol for bad ideas. We rarely stop to consider the possible consequences of our “why nots.” We just plow forward like a bulldozer through a picket fence.

So next time a “why not” moment shows up, try something radical—pause, think it over, and answer your own question first:
If it’s a solid yes, go for it.
If not? Well… “I don’t think so” has saved me more than once. Just not often enough.

That’s The Condition—saying “why not” when common sense is screaming “don’t do it.”