STAY IN YOUR LANE

Dispatches from the Right Lane of Reason

Let me be clear. I have a job. It’s a real job. One I do. And do well.

My job touches a whole lot of other professions—attorneys, inspectors, lenders, contractors, plumbers, electricians, handymen, even animal control once… long story —but here’s the thing: I don’t pretend to be any of them.

You will never hear me walk into a courtroom and tell the attorney how to structure an argument. I don’t peek over the plumber’s shoulder and suggest how to snake the drain. And I sure as hell don’t tell a mortgage broker how to calculate debt-to-income unless I’m in the mood for a free math lesson and a professionally delivered reality check.

But for some reason, too many folks think they’re experts in everyone else’s profession. Ever notice that? People who can’t even keep a cactus alive want to give landscaping advice. Folks with 42 unread emails and 3 untouched voicemails from their boss are suddenly workflow-efficiency gurus.

And my personal favorite — someone who shows up late and unprepared, yet somehow ready to teach a masterclass on how to do my job better. This is the same guy who thinks “escrow” is a new brand of olive oil.
“Escrow Extra Virgin” — yeah, okay pal.

Let me state my point as clearly as I can:
Stay in your damn lane.

That goes double for traffic.

I was driving the other day, obviously minding my own business. Doing the speed limit plus a little forgiveness. Coffee in hand. Good music on. Then it happens.

The Lane Creeper.

This person pulls up beside me like we’re on a date. Same speed. Same space. Windows down. Smiling like we’re sharing a Spotify playlist.

Listen, I don’t know you. We didn’t carpool. This isn’t Fast and Furious: Cobb County Drift. Move along.

The Tailgater.

I’m not saying I brake-checked him. I’m just saying my foot may have gotten a little twitchy for a second or two…

The Left Lane Racer.

The person who sees the red light ahead but still has to floor it to get one car length ahead. You know, in case your position at the stoplight is being judged for trophies.

I even had a guy pull up next to me recently, revving his engine like we were about to drag race — in the McDonald’s drive-thru. Seriously, dude?

I looked over like, “Sir, I’m just here for a burger. You win big dog. You’re the alpha.”

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But it got me thinking.

This whole mess — in traffic, in business, in life — comes down to the same thing:

Too many people trying to manage lanes they don’t even drive in while barely staying upright in their own.

Look, I will stay in my lane. Gladly. I’ll wave. I’ll nod. I’ll probably even let you merge.

But if you ride up on me, tail me, swerve into my space, or try to tell me how to do something while you’re clearly winging it in your own life?
I’m coming over. And I’m not signaling.

So, unless you want to rumble (I like that word), pull it together.
Stay on your side of the table.
Focus on mastering your own role.

Because if you keep crossing into my lane, I will hit my hazard lights, put on gospel music full blast, and passive-aggressively escort you to the next exit at a brisk 20 mph.

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The Condition — where common sense still has the right of way.

If this resonated, subscribe and share it with someone who keeps creeping into the wrong lane.